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Re: libzstd_1.3.3+dfsg-2_multi.changes REJECTED

On Wed, Apr 18, 2018 at 12:52:18PM +0100, Chris Lamb wrote:
> Whilst this is not the most egregious example, I am not enjoying
> this recent trend of almost-immediately escalating issues to our
> mailing lists.
> If one feels hurt or aggrievied by an interaction that might be
> completely fair and legitimate (!) but the "junk" energy you feel
> in the moment of dashing out a publical riposte has long-reaching
> negative effects both on yourself and others that I am certain you
> do not intend.
I have, on occasion, written messages that I later (sometimes even
immediately) regretted. What has worked well for me and helped prevent
me from initiating or compounding situations like those you point out is
this process:

- Get upset over whatever the perceived offense is
- Write the inevitably emotionally charged message (but DO NOT SEND)
- Read the message back to myself, preferrably aloud
- Delete the message
- Turn down the "emotional dial" several notches and reconsider the
  situation, with a specific effort to have more charitable
  consideration of the actions of others involved
- At this point, if a message still feels warranted, start from scratch
  and write a more courteous message that focuses on the specific
  techincal, procedural, or other issue, without resorting to emotional
  arguments or other inflammatory statements (this step may have to wait
  a day or more if the situation is especially volatile)

I share it here in the case that others may find it helpful. This may be
the sort of thing that is natural for some, but it was definitely not
natural for me and I had to train myself to this.

This approach certainly is not perfect, but I can personally attest that
I have written and then subsequently deleted lots of messages that by
any objective measure would have served to only worsen a situation. When
I have failed to follow my own advice, I have without fail only made the
situations in question worse.



Roberto C. Sánchez